Cease striving and know that I am God

(Psalm 46:10 NASB)

"I've decided that if I had my life to live over again, I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and watch more sunsets; I wouldn't only jettison my hot water bottle, raincoat, umbrella, parachute, and raft; I would not only go barefoot earlier in the spring and stay out later in the fall; but I would not devote one more minute to monitoring my spiritual growth. No, not one"

This quote is taken from Brenna Manning’s book The Furious Longing of God. This quote has brought much peace and rest to my soul. I am blessed to have read this quote. During this time when I am daily striving to see the blessing I sometimes get discouraged when I don't see them, or at least when I don't see new ones. I think this is partly due to that fact that I, no matter how hard I try not to be, am a byproduct of American culture and a lot selfish.

On those days that I get upset when I don't see the blessing, the positive side of life, I can turn into Miss. OVER analysts. I try and reflect on my day to see if there is any sin, any blatant disobedience, or any disciple that I need to do more. I do this because if there is any offensive way in me I want it gone (Psalm 139:23-24). I want away with it, so that God can be even more in my life. While this is not a bad thing to do, I too many times get caught up in the striving to get rid of the offense. More than not this striving produces anxiety, worry and guilty.  The silly thing is I can't get ride of it, and neither can you. That is what Jesus came for (Ephesians 2:8-10).

I need to stop striving to be the person who is step up perfect to receive abundant blessings. I need to strive after Him. In Christ is the abundant blessing. I need to stop monitoring my spiritual growth so much. At the end of the day if I grow closer to God, and helped someone else draw nearer to Him then it has been a blessed day.

Christ died in our place to produce in us a life a freedom. When we are consistently monitoring our spiritual growth we start to produce a life of bondage to the things that constitute a spiritual growing life. This is not what he died for. It is not bad to monitor our spiritual growth, but in this season of my life I need to stop monitoring, stop striving. I need to start letting God be God in my life. I need to let him love me, and out of that love live my life.  This thought, this old idea, to let God be God gives me room to breath, room to rest and room to live.

Sooooo here is to letting God be God!! One moment at a time I will learn and live in the truth that seeking God for God’s sake is all I need.  Knowing that God is God is more than enough!

let today be today

When I look back over the past week I have so many great things to be thankful for. The #1 thing that comes to mind is that I went on a CRUISE with 7 of my friends!!  It was such a blast...every single minute!!!

This was one of the greatest vacations ever!!

Today was back to business. I feel as though a lot has been thrown at me today, and if I'm honest it has been a hard day. I restarted this blog as a tool to help me seek the positive. To see the good that is around everyday if we just take the time to look. To record the blessing of a mighty God in my life. To record the beauty of Love rushing into my life. Today it has been hard to see the goodness. It has been hard to look past the negative. It has been hard to believe that where I am in life is not where I will aways be. What has helped me get through today has been this verse...

In the swarm of anxious thoughts and negative feels you have to tell yourself to STOP. You have to tell yourself to slow down. Don't take yourself so seriously. Let the past be the past, tomorrow be tomorrow and let today be a day that you grow closer to Love. Being still and just knowing that God is God, that he is who he says he is, is enough. Today I am thankful for the reminder that to get rid of the negativity I need to sit down, take a deep breath and remind myself of who I belong to...I belong to God.

Here is some of my #selftalk today

I belong to God. God loves me unconditionally. God wants me to have a life of joy and peace. ALL my significance is found in Him. ALL my security is found in Him. My significance is NOT caught up in anyone but GOD. To get through today do the next moment in love. I belong to God. He is more than enough. I belong to God.

I need to have the phrase "I belong to God" tattooed onto every part of my DNA!

Fire in My Bones

I LOVE this verse. I had to memorize it in college for my Old Testament class. When I learned it then I loved it, but as time goes on my understanding has deepen and my love for this verse has grown. You see, I have always felt called to do ministry as a fulltime vocation, but where I am at in life this is not a reality. I have a job but we are under strict orders to NOT speak of anything religious. This is hard for me (not because I want to talk about religion, doctrine and all that stuff) because of the truth of Jesus that is burned onto my heart. Yes I can show people I work with the love of Jesus through serving them, having a good attitude and all that...BUT...that's not enough for me. There is in me a burning fire shut up in my bones; a fire that's deepest desire is to connect people with Love. I have grown weary of holding this in. I try my best with where I work to let Jesus shine through and he does. It is not enough for me to work a job that's main focus is not Jesus. Yes, he is the main focus of my life, but I need that to also me the focus of my job. There is too much of him in me to do any other kind of work then spreading his fame. I need to be in a place where Jesus is my job, my number one mission, and my number one focus. I know that God has called me to do fulltime ministry, but until he provides the means for that I will expectantly wait.

This verse speaks boldly to my soul, because in so many ways this is what I am crying out. I cannot wait for the day when all will not have to be shut up in my bones. I am growing weary of hold him in.

Back to the business of looking at the blessing of today. I count it a blessing that I have discovered Henry's!!

Henry's is a small coffee shop/cafe in downtown Indy. I have a strong affinity for coffee shops. This one is off the beaten path, so I intensely fell in love with it when I first found the little place. Also, they have a killer chicken pesto sandwich for lunch. I ran in today and picked up some coffee and lunch. I didn't have time to stay, but just being in there for the few minutes it took to make my order definitely brought some happiness to my day. Henry’s just brings some extra spark of happiness to my life.

I hope you've found some extra spark of joy in your life today!